Who else starts panicking when they hear guests are coming over? I bet many hands are raised. The immediate response is to clean the bathroom, stash away the dishes in the dishwasher, check the fridge, and shove all random items into closets or drawers. Shouting at the family to not touch anything until the guests arrive is common because we all want our homes to look like no one lives there.

But isn't that too much hassle? What if we just kept it real? Imagine, a friend suddenly texts, "Hey, I'm stopping by in two minutes with my family. It might be for an hour or the whole afternoon. See you soon!" Instead of frantically vacuuming, why not just sit back on the couch, relax, and wait for them to arrive.

This is what we call Scruffy Hospitality.

This idea is about welcoming guests with open arms even if your home looks, well, 'lived-in.' It embodies the principle of "mi casa es su casa," or "my home is your home," meaning even if all you have are half-empty snack bags, you're still ready to share. It's about a deeper level of intimacy because you're letting friends see your real life.

Where did this idea come from?

Ten years ago, an Anglican priest from Knoxville, Tennessee, discussed the concept of scruffy hospitality on his website.Rev. Jack King and his wife had their own way of preparing for guests, but they realized that their intense preparations (especially with two young children under the age of three) often prevented them from inviting people over. There was a gap between "their everyday home and the presentable, hospitality-ready version of their home," he wrote. "Friendship is about creating a space for genuine conversation. And sometimes, authenticity happens when things are a bit scruffy."

In 2020, we spent a lot of time at home, and for the first time, our coworkers got a peek (via Zoom) into our living spaces. Sometimes, it meant having to be flexible when a toddler barged into that very important meeting with your boss.

However, we also watched social media influencers constantly showcase perfect, immaculate homes, which only made our feelings of inadequacy soar.

By late 2023, in America, there emerged a trend of parents inviting friends into their messy homes, even going live on TikTok to give tours of the chaos. Some parents, tired of social media perfection, started to embrace the messiness of a truly 'lived-in' home.

A professional organizer in America opined that expecting a home to be spotless 24/7 is unrealistic, especially with young children around. It's exhausting and can lead to stress if partners are pressured that much. So, when guests come over and the house is not "100% perfect," just apologize and hope they understand your situation.